Reliving Every Moment As If It Was The First.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Forked Roads

I've reached the point where the road splits in two. Where do I go from here? Time and again I told myself it's time to move on. It's not worth it anymore. Is this pain I'm feeling the punishment of my mistakes of the past? Am I to blame fully for all this? Sigh.. I don't know what to do anymore. It's numbing. But yet, knowing all this.. I still cling on. Why?! Why?! Stop acting like you care! Stop telling me you want to check up on me. It's been more than a month now and I've been feeling better. Lesser tears. More joy. At least from temporal distractions. Then you come around putting hope into my heart. Making me wonder if we could be again. Now I'm crushed. Lost and confused..

I don't think I want to love you anymore..

Yet one of those nights again

Alright.. I don't want to think about this anymore alright? I give up. I really don't know what to feel anymore. The feelings.. they're so numb right now. I've endured through this all this while. You don't even want to hear from me. Sigh.. enough. I don't want to cling on anymore. Please teach me how to leave. To just live and let go if that's what you want..

On another note, last night was totally awesome I supposed. Jean! You're finally 20! Good for you! Thanks heaps for throwing an awesome party. Had enough to drink. Duhhh.. well, not from our table anyway. Whatever it is. It's all good. Love the crowd.. People! You guys made my day. Which brings me to naming those that actually made it fun for me.. Jean of course. There's also Vernie. Yes! I know you enjoyed your 1st time out clubbing with us! You were smiling ear to ear at the end. There's also Yasmin. Thanks girl.. you were an awesome date. Uhh.. Azfa and gang.. and of course, Candice and Dan.. How can I go clubbing without you two huh? ;) And the rest of the people I barely recall. You guys were an awesome bunch..

Driving on this road of sadness and pain is not my choice to make. If only there was an exit on this friggin highway..
+SuicidalAct+

How can you mend a broken heart

When living for my life
Was everything a man could want to do
I could never see tomorrow
But I was never told about the sorrow
And how can you mend a broken heart?
How can you stop the rain from falling down?
How can you stop the sun from shining?
What makes the world go round?
How can you mend a this broken man?
How can a loser ever win?
Please help me mend my broken heart
And let me live again
I can still feel the breeze
That rustles through the trees
And misty memories of days gone by
We could never see tomorrow
No one said a word about the sorrow
And how can you mend a broken heart?
How can you stop the rain from falling down?
How can you stop the sun from shining?
What makes the world go round?
How can you mend this broken man?
How can a loser ever win?
Please help me mend my broken heart
And let me live again

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Times of regret

The calmness of the night. The stillness of the air, it brings back memories of you. Staying over and having you right next to me. Remember waking up in the dead of night. Slowly and steadily I rise from bed just to gaze at you sleeping. The sound of your steady breathing fills the air as you sleep lie there quietly like a little child snuggled up for the night. I miss how you smell. My favorite shampoo that. The smell of your flowing hair as you walk past me. Soft and delicate, you have beautiful features that I can gaze at with love and adoration. Ohh.. how I missed you darling. What would I give to get everything back? Everything. I'm willing to try if just this once more. To be able to feel your warmth, to hold you close. To tell you everything would be alright because I'm here. That I would fight away your nightmares and to be your very own superhero. I love you honn. I really do. Missing you as always. Gosh! When would this actually end? It's been 11months but yet the feelings never changed. One small mistake took away my shot at love. A love that's different from any other. A love only YOU can give. Too many apologies were said. Too much of hurt and pain was inflicted. If only I knew better then..

P.S. I still love you.

Regret is only mistakes of the past.
+SuicidalAct+

Sunday, December 6, 2009

So close - Jon Mclaughlin

You're in my arms
And all the world is calm
The music playing on for only two
So close together
And when I'm with you
So close to feeling alive

A life goes by
Romantic dreams will stop
So I bid mine goodbye and never knew
So close was waiting, waiting here with you
And now forever I know
All that I wanted to hold you
So close

So close to reaching that famous happy end
Almost believing this was not pretend
And now you're beside me and look how far we've come
So far we are so close

How could I face the faceless days
If I should lose you now?
We're so close
To reaching that famous happy end
And almost believing this was not pretend
Let's go on dreaming for we know we are
So close
So close
And still so far

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Officially Missing You - Tamia

Hmm...
Ooh.. ooh...

All I hear is raindrops, falling on the rooftop
Oh baby, tell me why'd you have to go?
'Cause this pain I feel, won't go away
And today I'm officially missing you

I thought that from this heartache, I could escape
But I've fronted long enough to know
There ain't no way
And today I'm officially missing you

Ooh, can't nobody do it like you
Said every little thing you do, hey, baby
Said it stays on my mind
And I-I'm officially..

All I do is lay around, two years full of tears
From looking at your face on the wall
Just a week ago you were my baby
Now I don't even know you at all, I don't know you at all

Well, I wish that you could call me right now
So that I could get through to you somehow
But I guess it's safe to say, baby, safe to say
That I-I'm officially missing you

Ohh, can't nobody do it like you
Said every little thing you do, hey, baby
Said it stays on my mind
And I-I'm officially

Well I thought I could just get over you, baby
But I see that's something I just can't do
From the way you would hold me
To the sweet things you told me
I just can't find a way to let go of you

Ohh.. can't nobody do it like you
Said every little thing you do, hey, baby
Said it stays on my mind
And I-I'm officially..

It's official
Hoo, you know that I'm missin' you, yeah, yes
All I hear is raindrops, oh, yeah
And I-I'm officially missin' you

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Get me the hell away from this teenage drama! I don't want any of it mann! Don't pull me in! I wanna be a bystander!

Oh damn! The recent week's parties were doped up mann! Massively cool! Met awesome people! I love you guys! Don't think you guys would stumble on ma blog but it's aite. Anyway, life's just been great I guess. Sigh.. there are heartaches and stuff but nothing I can't handle I guess. Hmm.. nothing much to report. Ain't gonna talk too much about what's been going on anyway..

P.S. I still love you..