Emo..

Well, just today. I was actually back home yet again after so long. It's been a few weeks since I last unlocked my main door and took a step into that place. It felt just like the first time when I was younger only that at that moment, I was still new to the surrounding and I was really excited. Back then, I darted into the semi furnished house, excitement bubbling inside of me, ready to burst out like an active volcano ready to explode. As I entered, I ran around the house, looking in every nook and cranny just seeing how big it was. It wasn't the largest place of all. It was small yet comfortable. It was very homey. Right now, it was the same. I didn't expect this feeling to emerge again but yes, that was what happened.

I made my way through the house, looking at the photos, the plants, everything. It seems so new to me now. I still remember back then when I took the place for granted. Entering and exiting as and when I wanted to. What my parents told me before this came back to me..

" You think this house is a hotel to you is it? It's a home. Treat it with respect. One day, you would regret what you have done and just rethink your life right there and then.."

Those were the exact words that came out of my parent's mouth. Now that I think about it, it's true. After living so long outside of my own home, I really do miss it and wish that I cherished it more. After touring the living room, I then headed to my room. Ahh yes, this is it. The place where I onced only use for sleeping of all things. Nothing more than just.. sleep. Well, everything was still the same. My bed was made up like I left it. The clothes were still the same. Hurrying, I packed up what I needed and immediately shot out of my room door.

As I was ready to walk out the front door, I stopped. Turned back and looked towards the sliding door that separated the living room with the balcony. A thought came to me.. "One last pitstop before I leave this house". As soon as the thought went through my head, I realized myself already walking towards the sliding door, pushing aside the curtains that hung down all the way to the floor. With a little effort, the door slided with a the nostalgic squeek escaping it as it forces it's way open. The night air was cooling after a late evening shower. The below was lighted up by street lights and cars.

Thoughts of childhood once again flashed through my mind. The 1st time I was here, all that could be seen was a river stream that flowed through a lush jungle right in front. To the right was the highway and to the left, the golfcourse. Now, an elevated highway was constructed above the highway and the jungle was no longer there. A new housing estate was built up to ease the congestion of people that needed a home. The river was still there and the golfcourse was too.

Finally, it was time to leave. I took one last glance at the scenery and was soon headed out the door. As I unlatched the door and unlocked the gate, tears began to fill my eyes as I thought of my life. Where am I headed to in life? What am I doing to fulfill my destiny of greatness? Right now.. nothing. Words that were said could never be taken back. Actions cannot be undone. Things were as it is. Nothing could be changed from the past but yet, there was a small spark of hope in my future. All that needs to be done is to do what I needed to do now in order to grasp the future that awaits me. Other than that, images of my loved ones came to mind. Not just my friends of course. Even my family came to mind. All of them were smiling and were waiting for me, just waiting. What were they waiting for you ask? Well, for me to finish this race called life. This race where not many people succeeded in finishing as a winner. The zeal finally came to me as I decided to turn my life around. No more being stupid after this. As soon as college starts, it's time to be serious again. Determination is important for victory right?

Well, that was about what happened to me this evening. Other than that, I was gaming with my friends.. Yes, marcus and the APIIT gang. It's been ages since we met up and I decided that it was about time to go hangout with them a little. Darn my dota skills are a little rusty but yet, I was able to make it as 2nd in the game.. Yes! :P Now I'm just home chilling and enjoying the moment. Would be heading to be pretty early tonight. Got a long day ahead anyway. Smiles people.. :D

P.S. Marcus! Thanks for the night bro. And Stanley.. we would be meeting tomorrow and yes you! You would be sitting under the pool table.. MUahahHAHahaha..!! Anyways, that's about it for tonight. A little emo now.. I blame it on the bloody menthol lights that Jean lefted in my car the other day. Dang! It's killing my male hormones!! Either that or me being a little too in touch with my sensitive side.. sigh..

"Smiles of happiness and tears of joy are needed for one to grow stronger in life. Without it, one is nothing more than a heartless crust with no reason to live.."

+>SuicidalAct<+